Sunday, March 16, 2014

In Search of a Dawn

Hello my invisible minnions. I am back at my blog! Albeit for a very 'short' and incoherent rant .


This is a small graduation gift I made for my friend Gaurav Ogale, for his continued awesomeness of existencce. Do check out his insanely interesting delusional conversations with himself at his chai blog. The painting was inspired from a photograph of his. 




First off, life update.

This January saw us lose + expire our respective ATM cards,shift to a new apartment in Malad, (from our former OMFG habitat, with very little cash in hand), run around the city for various paper work (registration of flat,police verification etc), find jobs, start cooking seriously and lose weight due to lack of sleep/food/exercise.

Arvind and I have joined an office for work.And I am now officially earning my living. I have been an employee for about two months now (though technically I haven't received my first month's salary yet). So what do I do? I am working at IL&FS, Mumbai, making illustrations for an educational app that assists pre-primary school teachers teach kids. Well,yeah thats about it.

The best part about work however is the fact that I get to work with some really great guys from my college, Sonal,Rohan Saraf,Kanhika and Maseeh. Sonal especially, under whose eccentric guidance we've been working mostly, is THE MAN when it comes to managing work and workflow and churning out smart work within the best time. Check out her crack pot blog here.

Sonal and her love for chocolates,immortalized in this 30 mins doodle by me.  

And so January rolled on but we believed in the promise of February. It couldn't possibly get worse than Jan right? Yet in Feb, it got worse.

One wednesday morning, in mid February , we woke up to find that this was all the money we had.


75 bucks. Just about enough money to reach the office. Without an ATM card on either of us,we'd have to wait till Saturday to go to the bank.

My salary had gotten delayed. Arvind also joined the same office I worked at,which meant that the freelance projects that he had taken up before joining had to be completed along with the office work. This meant a lot of post-office work hours, which translated to even lesser sleep/social life. Things got so bad that we had to simply dump a freelance project halfway,one that we'd worked on for many weeks, simply because we couldn't do justice to it. In between all this,my two year old samsung galaxy s2 'smart' phone decide to commit suicide by jumping into a pool of water and frying her motherboard. While haaving to scamper to meet all our expenses, we also realized that our friend Nabeel wasn't going to move in with us and so our rent share would go up further. So me and my bud,Arvind,battled through a daily onslaught of 12+ work hours, 4+ gruelling traffic hours, 4+ hrs of late night freelancing and diminishing sleep cycles while coming to terms with an unkept promise of an overdue salary in the Shitblitz that was this February.


However it wasn't ALL bad. My film "An Iverted Dream" won the best Student's Music video Award at the Noida International Film Festival. It had been a pain sending it to festivals amidst all the cows and tractors flying at me in the storm.But it was worth it. My first ever Award recognition for my first ever film. Felt great. It was also a great reminder and incentive for me to make time and money to send my film to more fests since my dick college wouldn't do it on my behalf.

More of my friends, from home and college, had been coming to or passing-by Mumbai lately. So every now and then,we would meet up over the weekends. Meeting my hometown buds especially, after a long while, had been both refreshing and heart warming. You see people better under a newer sun. Or maybe its just my sight improving. That reminds me,I need to get a new pair of glasses.

Like what Mr.Robert Frost said,"There is no way out but through." And for better or worse, I am in the thick of it and there is no way but onward. But even in the shit storm I keep trying to remind myself why we do all this. Remind myself that though money is not an end in itself,it IS necessary; YET it is NOT the whole point for the journey.The fact that though you may have a goal to your pusuit, it is an ever shifting mirage that is never truly there, yet you need to see it there at the horizon inorder to chase it. Yet ocassionally you do forget.And it is then that someone like Gaurav would come along and remind you why you set out in the first place.  

This aint easy. But it wasn't meant to be. And Its kinda the whole point.

---
“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to
persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing
so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply
help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
--

1 comment:

Nikhita P. said...

Wow!!! That was a huge post, and I re-read your story even after hearing it personally.
Anywho, I LOVED the illustration! Love the colors, lighting and her hair! Lovely strokes too. So loose n flowy. Nice work en! :D